Thursday, April 25, 2019

The Keys to Becoming an Amazing Lover

There are certain keys to becoming an amazing lover. They are not quick fixes but skills you can learn and over time apply to become the best lover she's ever had. Actually, how fast you will learn this depends entirely on how passionate you are about it.

Listen to her responses

If there is one key I could teach to you – this would be it. If you learn how to truly listen to her then you will know exactly what she wants and what she does not want even if she does not know it herself. Most women do not know themselves completely, and the same goes for men. She might know herself better than anyone else but that does not mean she knows everything. We all learn about our sexuality during the entire course of our lives and most of us will never know the whole truth. But this is good news since it means that you have tons of sexuality to discover within her.

However, when I say that you need to learn how to listen, I'm going to tell you anything. I mean that you should listen to her body language, her moans, her breath, her touch, her eyes, her response … listen to everything.

To learn how to be a master listener you need know that you should never trust what she says – only trust what she does. Her body language never lies. However, what you are looking for in body language is not certain expressions but instead changes, and you have to be aware of your environment. For instance, if someone crosses their arms the common knowledge is that they're closed off. However, what if it's cold in the room? They would do the same thing. This is why you need to be aware of the environment. Also, every person has their own body language and this is why you'll be looking for changes. Once the persons body language changes – something is up. It can be negative or positive, but something is going on in their head. In sex, I call this "listening". Once you notice a change in her body language you've hit a stimulation and then you just interpret whether it's a good or a bad response. If it's a good, you REMEMBER IT and push it further to reach her limit. If it's a bad one then remember that to and keep away from it. Nothing bad will needlessly happen with a negative stimulation but it will definitely break the mood. A great lover keeps a great flow keeping both of you in the moment.

So this is how you go about it during sex: start off quite slow, throwing a few words or phrases out there, touch her in different ways and show some of the exercises (basically, the best you) that turn a woman on and see how she responds. You need to be very focused on her and trust your instincts because you already have this skill in you, you have just learned to ignore it by social programming. Experiment on her continuously and pay close attention to her responses. Does she push you away or just freeze down? Then she is not liking what you are doing and you need to back off. Does her heart race and her breath get heavy? You're onto something.

Some things to start you off listening:

Her breathing.
The heavier her breathing is the harder her heart beats. If you were to push her up against the wall with the weight of your body – will she try to create a space between you two or does she just become a heavy breathing putty of sex goo?

Her touch.
All people tend to touch others the way they want to be touched themselves. This means that if she is very soft in her touch as she Touches you, she wants to be touched softly. She wants to make you feel good but at first she has no idea how to do that and the only starting point she has is what she knows feels good to HER – therefore she'll tell you what she likes in her own way of touch. Take notice of everything she does to you and then do the same thing back to her.

Her eyes.
If she's looking away she's getting bored or losing interest, but if she's looking away and down with a smile, she's shy. When you do something, does her pupils increase in size and her eyes widen up? If they do – she's enjoying the sight of you. Her eyes have millions of nuances and they really can tell you a lot about her. I actually do not know how to explain how to read her eyes so just pay attention to them often and you'll begin to understand.

Her moans.
If it feels amazing shell moan. Actually, when eating a woman out you sometimes has to vary the stimulation. If you do the same thing continuously for several minutes the sensitivity will go down and you'll hear this in her moans. If you are doing it right the moans will be in ever increasing waves of highs and lows. She will not be just moaning more and more from start to finish. That would not be realistic, but she'll go up and down in her moans but as long as she's moving UP you're doing perfect. If you are saying something naughty to her and she gives a little sexy moan – remember WHAT and HOW you said it.

When you are experimenting and you find something that she really responds to – remember every detail about what you did. How you did it, what you did, in which tonality, which speed, which pressure and so forth. Every single detail.

Always remember what you are doing when she's responding and never assume that she'll like it the way you like it. Most people get stuck on that doing the thing they like will be the thing the other person like or they think that just going harder and faster will work out for them. Both those things are extremely untrue, so never fall into the way of thinking like this. She's a different person than you so would she like the exact same thing? And harder and faster might get some women off but most not.

It's all about her mind

Realize it's about her mind and not her body. It's a bit of a cliche that your biggest sex organ is the brain, but it's true. The brain controls EVERYTHING in a persons body so why would you focus solely on her love button? Women are wired to respond to certain things, but she also has things based on her uniqueness as an individual that turns her on. If you listen and learn what those things are and then repeatly press those buttons – she'll be having a small river between her legs. Also, when you finally do have sex with her, when she's that ready, she'll come harder and quicker than she ever has before.

What will turn her on more than anything is YOUR hits. If you are a true man and behaving like one, she'll get turned on just by that. You do not even have to touch her. I've had many times when I've done nothing except being myself (and a man), and during the day I have not taken notice to she being turned on, it has not even crossed my mind. But when we get home and I slide my hand in between her panties – she'd be soaking, dripping wet.


A master lover is not doing perfect techniques in a repeated manner – he's completely and utterly immersed into the experience of sex. Know the knowledge and the techniques, but when you are having sex, do not be tempted into performing but instead immerse yourself into the experience with her. Just bring the knowledge along, give it something of a thought now and then, let go and have sex with her. Be focused and stop thinking.

Her fantasies

Every woman has fantasies, something she's thinking on that makes her feel good. Whether it's having sex at night on the beach or something really kinky. Whatever it is you can benefit from it by keeping an open mind to her fantasies and then use them to make her feel real sexual pleasure. To get her to open up you have to be willing to share some of your fantasies as well, do not expect her to open up if you do not do it first. And you better be ready to tell her and never judge her for her fantasies.

For instance, if she were to tell you that she sometimes fantasies about being raped it does not mean that she actually wants to be rapped, but it does mean that she wants to feel a bit helpless and very dominated. Now you know a limit and you can begin to dominate her a bit more, further and further and even including some tying her up or just locking her hands down behind her back. Play on her fantasies for your and her benefit. But make sure that if you cross the line you step back a little bit, and after the sex has taken place make sure she knows that or still her respect her or love her. The fantasies are in the context of sex and not related to anything else.

Be a real man

She wants to have sex with a man. Not a wuss, nor a woman (because then she'd be with women instead), but a real man. Be assertive, be firm, give her the sense of being safe in your arms and be confident.

Source by Mikael Cedergren

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